BOOOOOOOOOO

...NO NO NO, dont be scared! Its not a ghost! Its just me, Earlier! PHew!!! Sorry if I scared you! But this brings me to the order of biz. People have been doing some major gobbling and asking if "Earlier Limn" is a ghost writer. Let's just clear the air, I hate blasphemy... I like to consider myself a bedazzled mouthpiece of sorts shared by two besties! So let me swivel the interrogation lamp into your face, and pose a question. Whats 'Real' anyway?!?! I'll tell you whats not real----- REALITY TV! What a bunch of discarded period panties! The "AHA" moment for me was when I was emotionally submersed in the first season of Paris Hilton's my New Bff (the brain child of none other than Paris herself). I seriously was crying right along with Bikini Cory. If you missed her closing remarks you really need to watch it here

--> http://jezebel.com/5084514/bff-im-known-as-bikini-cory-because-i-earned-it

Um, Cory, I can relate to you over here! I might as well be known as "Monokini Earlier"!! I was monokeening poolside eons before Target started pandering their knock off in a hideous splatter-paint version! Now when I wear my monokini it just feels cheap and dirty.

In the meantime, I was all over the Internet fan sites posting comment after comment about the injustice of Cory being TTYN'd! She was racially profiled! She was born into beauty and she is harboring some major collatoral - her mole..I mean face! Only a savage would not feel for her. Well, imagine my surprise when I found out that "natural beauty" Cory has had THREE plastic surgeries. The humanity. Ever since, I have found it hard to trust reality programming.

Side note, I'm really into "Dance your A Off" right now! Alicia has the energy of a bear and will claw her way to the top!

All in all, I may be imaginary, but that doesn't make me any less real from the majority of people you come in contact with everyday. You may run across many self-proclaimed natural beautys, but reverse all the day spa procedures and Bare Minerals makeup and they are all sorts of fugly!!!

TTYL! Earl

Gemini

So I totally have to let you all in on a serious case of mistaken identity. Last night I am strutting San Tan mall in my new Betty Johnson platform booties, totally sending out the vibe to some emo guys until I made a quick exit into Buckle because I noticed one of the guys and I were wearing the same target skinny jeans..only his were smaller...meanwhile I catch a glance at myself in the mirror window and am taken aback because my $100 Mac makeup is sweating down my face and I honestly looked like a bad case of Boy George circa "promoting his gay play, Taboo".........




















...I was truly looking hanus.


So I am totally off the subject! So inside Buckle I see this redhead with a medium length bob looking at some vintage style peasant tops and I realize it's my friend Morgan. So I'm all "hey Morgan". The girl turns around she wasn't Morgan...not even close. How totally racist of me!! I had totally 'Henry Louis Gates Jr-d' her redheaded A! I didn't think I categorized reds! Honestly, it kind of freaks me out that the carpet matches the drapes, but I don't think that makes me a bad person. I honestly pride myself on not giving into stereotypes. I mean I have a friend that is 1/2 Chinese, for Lady Gaga's sake!! Anyway, the injustice was totally written all over her freckled face and I knew I had to recover. I attempted to say "Sorry, I thought you were my friend Morgan because you both care your weight in your middle"...but when I said Sorry...I was so flustered that I gleeked on her arm. At that point I just turned around and left trying not to trip on the mat on my way out. So I learned alot from that experience. Also...in hindsight, i should have known it wasn't Morgan because she never would have been looking in the bohemian section since she is totally 80's rebel yell right now!

I guess you live and you learn ya'll. But it really all comes back to the gospel. It's weird how that works. Well I'm out! Catch you on the flipside!!!